Even In Death
by Cherry blossom girl
Summary: Sequel to Last Beautiful Girl. Deeply hurt, he sent her away, craving to find his peace once and for all. But that seems impossible...HHr, DHr, HG
1. The Funeral

**Even In Death **

_I will stay forever here with you _

_My love_

_The softly spoken words you gave me _

_Even in death our love goes on _

_Evanescence, Even in death _

Sequel to Last Beautiful Girl

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter and I do not own Even in Death by Evanescence.

A/N: Oh my goodness! I finally managed to get to writing again. I think we should all celebrate it (note the sarcasm). Anyway, I'm glad I am back again. Thanks to everyone who reviewed Last Beautiful Girl. So, because EngShin (and some other) asked nicely, I decided to make a sequel. This takes place after Harry refused to forgive Hermione and sent her away. Hermione/Harry, Ginny/Harry. It will have more chapters:)

**Chapter 1 – The Funeral**

He heard the door open and then close, and knew that she went away. He sat at the table and returned to correcting the essays. But somehow he felt kind of uneasy; something wasn't right. He looked out of the window. It was dark and cold outside now; exactly like his heart felt. He realised the her departure hadn't made him feel better, in fact it caused him to feel worse – something he thought wasn't even possible.

He stood up and hurried out of his office, hoping that he'd still catch her. Now he regretted the harsh words he had said. True, she had made a mistake, hurt him and forsaken him, but that didn't matter anymore. She

loved him and he loved her. Harry was sure that he didn't want to make another mistake himself.

'_I'll find her and tell her that I already forgave her. I'll take her back, and finally we'll be together...'_ he planned as he was walking out of the castle. Three fourth-years he met on the way greeted him, but he didn't even notice it. He stopped for a while in front of the castle, not knowing where to go at first. Had she gone to Hogsmeade, to catch a train and leave Hogwarts? Or had she flown on a broom? _'No, this is not a possibility,'_ decided Harry, _'she never liked flying.'_

Then it occurred him. She loved the lake. Every time she had felt sad, hurt or depressed she had gone there, to sit by the lake. It had always soothed her. Maybe this time she would be there as well. He reached the lake, but found no one there. _'So she indeed left_ _immediately,'_ he thought sadly. His sight fell upon the calm lake.

It looked really beautiful, but this time its beauty wasn't warm and peaceful, but dark and sinister. _'Who knows how many secrets_ _do these deep waters hide?'_ He wondered silently.

Suddenly some movement on its surface caught his eye. He spotted something swimming in there. He came closer to the bank and tried to see what it was. The waves sent it closer, as if the lake was helping him in his attempt. He reached out with his hand and pulled the thing out. It was a ladies scarf.

His heart froze. He recognised it immediately. He had seen it just a while ago, on Hermione's neck. _'This can't be true,'_ he thought in horror. He looked at the lake again, but the deep blue waters were as impenetrable as ever. Just the feeling of something sinister being near grew stronger. He could feel the nearness of death.

For a moment the time stopped for him. He was just standing there, staring at the scarf in his hand. Hermione's scarf. Then he threw it away and jumped in the lake. He had to know the truth. Maybe he could even save her yet…

He found her on the bottom. Her eyes were closed, her silky hair floating around her pale face, she was not moving at all. Harry carried her out of lake and put her on the dark green grass. The moon, blazing with radiant light made her lovely face look even paler than usual. Harry felt tears form in his green eyes. It seemed that she wasn't breathing. He tried to wake her up desperately, to bring her back to life.

He shook her, called to her, held her and proclaimed his love for her, but every effort was vain, it was too late for regret now. It seemed like he had shed millions of tears with her lifeless body in his arms until he was found there. It was when Ginny, also teaching at Hogwarts, decided to go for a late walk. She was passing by lake and her sight fell upon this image of an immense tragedy.

Two days passed, two days during which Harry felt nothing but absolute apathy. Then the third day came; the day of Hermione's funeral. Harry was sitting in an armchair in his room looking blankly at the cold November day beyond the window opposite him. The leafless trees looked as hollow and dead as he felt inside.

Then the clock standing in the corner started to strike 12:00 a.m. Harry suddenly twitched. _'Already 12:00?'_ He wondered. '_In one hour … it's starting...' _he thought calmly, still not able to feel any emotion except apathy.

He stood up and began to prepare himself for the ceremony. He was already dressed in black suit when someone knocked on the door. He made no sound, just turned around to face the door. Ginny entered. She gently put her hand on his shoulder: "Harry...it's time to go..." He simply nodded and followed her out of the room.

After a while they reached the cemetery. Harry could see Hermione's parents standing near the coffin that now hid her beauty forever. Suddenly a brief feeling of guilt washed over him. How could he go and look into their eyes when he was the reason that their beloved daughter did not live anymore? No, that was impossible. Not wanting to be seen by anyone, he stayed in the back. Ginny looked at Hermione's parents once more and stayed in the back too, by his side.

The ceremony started. Ginny felt sad. Hermione used to be a very good friend of hers, and she could never really hate her with such a cold passion as maybe some other did, although she betrayed... Ginny looked at Harry. He was crying quietly, so no one would hear. The real pain and despair that he felt remained hidden deep inside his heart. Ginny's eyes saddened even more.

When Hermione's funeral ended, they both quickly returned to Hogwarts. But Harry hadn't been the same anymore. He avoided everyone, even Ginny, who used to be his best friend before, and he spent almost all his time completely alone.

He was often seen by the lake, sitting silently and staring in there for hours. Ginny tried to talk to him, to make him smile, to bring him back to life, but all her efforts were vain. He acted like if he had forgotten everything except Hermione.

He had thought that if he sent her away, he could finally live in peace, that it would kill his pain once and for all. But he was mistaken; for it only brought him more pain. It seemed that he loved Hermione even more now that she was gone for forever.

A/N: I hope you liked it. Next chapter should be out sometime soon...


	2. The Letter

**Even In Death**

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of its characters. It belongs to J.K. Rowling.

**Chapter 2 – The Letter**

Harry became a lonely man, but that did not matter to him; because his heart was solitary since long time already. Ginny really tried to help him and they grew kind of closer, but at times he still seemed distant.

He returned to the ordinary life, not wanting to lose his job as a Hogwarts teacher, that gave him certain feeling of sureness and peace despite the many students. No one knew about the thoughts and feelings he pushed away. Hermione's image, the sound of her voice, her laughter, the way she moved and the insane belief that one day she'd return – that everything stayed hidden somewhere deep in his mind, waiting for some sparks to ignite the flame so they can explode.

His friends, colleagues and students felt relieved that he got over and felt alive again. Ginny was happy for him too, even though sometimes she had slight doubts. But they were too tender to make her really worried. She was just unbelievably happy that the Harry she used to know when they were young and not tormented by countless tragedies was back.

They spent a lot of time together now. Ginny was happier and happier with every day. It seemed that Harry was, too. There was something like relationship building up between them. They both felt it, although none of them dared to say anything; for starting relationships are fragile things that could shatter easily if there are wrong words said or even right words said at wrong time.

Soon he invited Ginny to the Three Broomsticks for a date, danced with her at the Yule ball, and they spent whole Christmas holiday together at Hogwarts, going for long walks, leading long talks about everything and nothing, visiting Hogsmeade, just enjoying each other's company. It was during this time, when he finally said those three important words to her and she became the happiest woman in the whole world. Earlier she had never thought it would ever come true, that he would ever love her, still she had longed to hear him say so, since she got to know him. And so everything seemed perfect. But as we know, looks are often misleading.

One day after end of all classes, Harry was still sitting in the classroom when there was a knock on his window. Surprised, he looked up only to see a big brown owl with a letter in its peak. He opened the window, the owl flied in, let the letter fall on his head and flied away.

He was flabbergasted. Who could be the letter from? He didn't get a letter for a long time already and he couldn't think of anyone who would write him. He had also never seen this particular owl before.

He looked at the letter, there was only his name written on the top, no sender. He reluctantly opened it and began to read:

_I can imagine that you must be pretty surprised now, Potter. I bet you thought there wasn't anyone that could send you a letter. Well, you were mistaken, as you can see now. Although if anyone told me that one day I'd send a letter to you few years before, I think I'd turn them into something rather ugly. I guess we have all changed. Things are not what they used to be once. Even my hate for you seems somewhat vague during these long days… And yet I know I hate you with passion. After all, you are the sole cause of me being here. _

Harry averted his eyes at this point. He already knew who was the letter from. At first he wanted to throw it in the fireplace and let it burn, but then decided against it. He had always, even after so many bad things had happened to him, believed in second chances. And the one, who wrote this letter, should have the chance to say what he wanted, too. So he decided to listen to his words, even though they may just hurt him.

_I guess that when you finally got it, who's this from, you wanted just to throw it away and not read anymore. Maybe you did. But I believe otherwise: you were always the one to believe in chances. I think you'd gave one even to me: to say what I want. You see how I got to know you after all these years of being enemies? At certain point, this could be an advantage for me. But you know many things about me too. Do you think of me sometimes? How it all happened that day? I do think of it a lot. There isn't many better things to do here in Azkaban. You think you know what it's like, Potter? You don't. You can even imagine and it gets worse and worse with every day. But one day, I'll be able to get out. And then..._

_But that is not the matter I wanted to write about now. I wonder how come you never gave another chance to her. Yes, I've heard of that what happened. What happened because of you. And I realise, just as good as you do, that it was truly your fault. You didn't deserve her, you never did. I, on the other hand...but she wasn't good enough for me, a muggle-born witch...that's not for keeps. Even though she was as close to me as one could get. You see all the years here had had a bad influence on me. I got so meek… yet even at my weakest point, I am so much stronger than you… I wouldn't ever do what you did. So self-righteous and arrogant as the ones you despise, you are the cause of her downfall after all, not me. _

_How strange. I think you are too weak to face it, even. Have you already forgotten all about her? I get the feeling that some of your friends always knew that you were not better than me. But if this were my fault, I would take actions to undo it. There are many ways, you know. I would do anything to get her back, were I in your place. But you never deserved her. I can imagine that now you think it cannot get worse anymore. But I'll get back and then you'll see…_

_D. M. _

Just two plain letters, not even whole name, but that was more than enough. _'After all what he'd done, he had the guts to write words like this. He'll never change, the bloody bastard. How dares he? He'll never get out. If he ever comes here to speak of her, I'll kill him with my bare hands,'_ swore Harry. He threw the letter into flames immediately and let it burn.

But no matter how he tried to forget it, he found out that he remembered every single word of it. And the words etched in his mind kept repeating themselves, bringing him to confusion and doubt and misery.

What if Malfoy was right? Right in everything. Still more it bothered him, especially one part.

"I'd do anything to get her back."

Was that really possible? Could he do it? He started again to suffer nightmares, such ones where she still was alive, talked to him, laughed with him, walked with him, and then suddenly disappeared, or worse, left him on purpose, saying: "But you never deserved me, Harry. I'll be gone soon...I love Draco."

Or he saw Malfoy, laughing victoriously, telling him about his guilt, repeating words that were so familiar to Harry, yet he opposed to understand them. And then one day, when it became too much and he felt like dying, he went to the library, to the restricted section.

He walked among the shelves for a while, knowing too well what he was looking for, before finding the courage to grip the book and take it out. It was thick book in leather binding, with a name carved in its back.

It said simply: Dark Arts. Harry opened it slowly and flipped through the pages, until the words he was looking for caught his eyes: "Allanei – the spell of evanescent return."

A/N: so, you liked? Want to know what happens next? Yeah, me too :) Just joking, I already know, and I hope that I will be able to post it soon...


	3. Seemingly Forgotten

**Even In Death**

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter created by JK Rowling and I am not trying to make any profit out of this.

**Chapter 3 – Seemingly forgotten **

Allanei – one of the darkest spells ever known to the wizardkind, along with the three Unforgivable curses, Horcruxes, Fanhrills and some other spells or curses almost no one dared to talk about. That was all that this book said about the matter, but Harry was sure. This was the spell he was looking for. The spell of evanescent return. This was the solution Malfoy had had in mind when writing him. He knew that all along.

He also knew that although he knew too much about this spell, he would still need some more information. The gentle aspects of its performance and the complicated incantations had to be accurate. It was a difficult spell, of course. But Harry was an excellent wizard, there was no doubt he could master it.

Next day Ginny did not go to her classes, but asked Harry to supply for her, because she felt sick. In the afternoon she didn't feel much better, so Harry said he would go to Hogsmeade to get her a medicine. In fact, he decided this would be a good time to gain more information about the spell he planned to perform.

He left his room, walked along the corridor to the Entrance Hall. Outside he stopped for a while to talk to professor Flitwick, who was curious where Harry was going. After telling him, Harry continued on his way to Hogsmeade. He walked fast, needing to save time. When he got there, he bought the medicine for Ginny and then headed for the Shrieking Shack.

He looked around. There was no one to see. Harry put on a grey hooded cloak, which he carried in his bag before, and disapparated.

Knockturn Alley was as dark and sinister as usual, when a man suddenly apparated in front of the Borgin and Burkes shop. He entered the shop and after a few minutes of talking to the owner, he left the shop with a newly bought item.

Once he left the shop, he disapparated almost immediately. No one could see who he was, for he was wearing a long black cloak with a hood which he pulled over his forehead. They weren't curious, he wasn't the only one who wanted to remain unrecognised when visiting Knockturn Alley. However, if they knew who he was, they would be very, very surprised.

When Harry returned to Hogwarts, he went to Ginny to give her the medicine he bought for her. He stayed with her for a while and then left, saying that he had to correct the students' homework and prepare for his next lessons.

He took his bag and pulled out black hooded cloak and a simple looking black book with silver engraved title. He looked at it for a moment, then put it in a drawer in his desk and started to correct homework of the first year students.

At night he slept badly. He woke up every once in a while, and it took him long time to fall asleep again. Finally, the morning came – the golden rays of sun glided through the window and penetrated the darkness inside his room. It was still quite early, but Harry decided to get up. He started to prepare for the classes he should have taught that day.

On the way to his first class he met Ginny; radiant and vivacious. She obviously felt much better now. They talked for a while, nothing too important, just small talk. Seeing Ginny so happy, so alive, Harry suddenly felt much better. He also felt kind of guilty when he remembered how he neglected her in the last few weeks. _'That will change now,'_ he promised himself before stepping into the classroom; Hermione forgotten again for some time.

He indeed kept his secret promise. He spent most of the day in Ginny's presence and near the end of the day he took her for a walk around the Hogwarts grounds, watching sunset together, visiting Hagrid, but carefully avoiding the lake.

That night he slept better – he had no sweet dreams about happiness, but at least, this night was also without the usual nightmares.

Next day when he walked into Ginny's office, he found her sitting near the fireplace with a parchment, a letter in her hand. She looked up and upon seeing his face she smiled dearly. "Oh Harry," she said, "I got a letter, and it's – it's from Ron," she said with great amount of happiness in her voice. Harry felt his heart sank at the mention of a man who once used to be his best friend.

They didn't get on well lately, in fact since the Great Battle had taken place, and after one particularly nasty argument Ron stopped writing or visiting Harry, who repaid it the same way. It seemed their friendship was over for good.

They won the war against Voldemort, but since that time, nothing was like before. Even despite their victory. Their lives stayed forever affected by all the dark and painful things that happened.

His years at Hogwarts were wonderful, it all started like a fairy – tale, but in the end, the fairytale had gone bad. It was a story with a sad ending, for everyone. He felt things won't ever be the same. And especially not now, after Hermione...

Ginny however continued, not aware of the fact that Harry's mood sunk so low. "He and Lavender want me to come for few days, to celebrate Easter with them, so I don't have to be alone," she said, obviously very happy that she'd see her brother soon.

"Of course, the invitation is also for you, you have to go with me," she added when she saw the look on his face.

"But Ginny," Harry objected, "you know that Ron and I….aren't on speaking terms anymore...since the war ended...and –"

"Don't worry, I'm sure it'll be different now, after some time passed...and when we're together," she assured him. After some time, they agreed on visiting Ron, Lavender and their children for a week. Harry still didn't have good feeling about that; he just wanted to make Ginny happy.

The Easter came soon, and Harry and Ginny left Hogwarts to spend the Easter Holiday with Ron and his family. Ginny was unusually happy, but that was understandable, and seeing her smile and laugh again made Harry feel good inside. It helped him forget all the bad things that happened, and the ones that were yet waiting for him in his unclear future.

These moments spent with Ginny made him feel lighter, better. For a while he almost felt happy, the constant fear and anxiety disappearing miraculously into a faraway land of unimportance. His dark intentions, the black book on the bottom of the drawer in his office and Hermione – this all was seemingly forgotten. Then they arrived at the point of their destination. The house of Ronald and Lavender Weasley.


End file.
